The Other Half

The majority of all my healing has relied on letting go of everything that sapped my energy.

That included so many things in my life that haunted me from my childhood.

And it begins from there… like a domino effect.

I’ve reached a point where I give The Divine and The Universe gratitude and the credit for helping me get through it all.

Because it’s made me who I am becoming today.

That said… there is a portion of me that has healed and become amplified through the process.

All the good in me.  My conscience.  My heart.  My perspective that I am praying will always exist as a positive quality… forever-changing toward an even better good.

Several other areas as well.  I am… always… a work in progress.

Giving in to loving someone has sent me into lands that become the most difficult.

And right now… I’m struggling with the fact that being alone is beginning to feel… too comfortable.

Two men in my life have shaken me to my core.

I divorced one.  But in reality… he’d let me leave the marriage in my mind… a decade beforehand.

I’m contemplating giving up on another.

This is showing me how much I’m healing.  Growing.

Becoming aware and ready to take action.  So much sooner now.  In any kind of relationship… with anyone.

No more waiting… until I’m completely empty.

And especially… in a love relationship.

It takes two people to build a love relationship.

Crickets are for fishing.

I have learned there is only one thing I can do when the other person becomes a Mute.

Leave.

I am a team player in a love relationship.  When there is no equal injection… why be there?

I’m not the maid.  I’m not the sex toy.  I’m not the tax deduction.

I’m not the accountant.  I’m not the cook.  I’m not the errand girl.

I’m not the pet sitter.  I’m not some teddy bear that sits on a shelf.

And I’m not the one for a Mute.

I am the other half… of what makes… or breaks… happiness and joy… and everything that feels good about moving forward in this life together.

I am the other half that loads that dishwasher… or hand-washes the dishes… with you.

I am the other half that races to see who can get through all the housecleaning… with you.

I am the other half that throws handfuls of mud at you when I’m working in the yard… the vegetable garden… the orchard… or the farm… with you.

I am the other half that loads those beaters with whipped cream in the kitchen… while you’re cutting up the strawberries… and pulls that mixer out of the bowl before turning it on high… right at you!

I am the other half that runs her fingers through your hair… while she’s listening to you talk about… all those hurts from your childhood that still linger.

I am the other half that stands beside you… defends you against anyone trying to take advantage of you.

I am the other half that fights with you… for us… when the challenges in differences arrive.

I’m not an option.

I’m the other half… of a whole… with you.

When you forget who I am… and what I am not… why should I be there?

When you treat me like I’m not there… why should I be there?

 

** Artwork by Anne Stokes